o'brien Quotes

“I might be celibate, but I appreciate the wonder of the sacrament of marriage.”

“Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun.;Steve Martin;funny 25997;You need to be silly to be funny.;William Shatner;funny 25998;You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.;Rush Limbaugh;funny 25999;In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.;Rosie Perez;funny 26000;I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.;Taylor Swift;funny 26001;Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.;Adam Sandler;funny 26002;I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.;Leonardo DiCaprio;funny 26003;I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.;Jerry Seinfeld;funny 26004;Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day.;Jennifer Aniston;funny 26005;The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.;J. K. Rowling;funny 26006;I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.;Megan Fox;funny 26007;It's to paint directly on the canvas without any funny business, as it were, and I use almost pure turpentine to start with, adding oil as I go along until the medium becomes pure oil. I use as little oil as I can possibly help, and that's my method.;Edward Hopper;funny 26008;I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.;Jennifer Aniston;funny 26009;You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.;Lily Tomlin;funny 26010;It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.;Gertrude Stein;funny 26011;That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.;Jennifer Aniston;funny 26012;I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny.;Jennifer Aniston;funny 26013;My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.;Jennifer Aniston;funny 26014;Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.;Joan Rivers;funny 26015;Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.;John Krasinski;funny 26016;Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.;Stevie Wonder;funny 26017;If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.;Tom Hiddleston;funny 26018;Keep your sense of humor, my friend if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.;Wavy Gravy;funny 26019;Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.;Chris Rock;funny 26020;Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot.;Justin Bieber;funny 26021;Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.;Denis Leary;funny 26022;Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.;Demetri Martin;funny 26023;I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.;Demetri Martin;funny 26024;I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.;Demetri Martin;funny 26025;The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.;Demetri Martin;funny 26026;It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.;Adlai E. Stevenson;funny 26027;I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.;Shaun White;funny 26028;I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.;Karl Lagerfeld;funny 26029;One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy's restroom and she wasn't embarrassed at all.;Zac Efron;funny 26030;The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.;Joan Jett;funny 26031;A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.;Billy Corgan;funny 26032;Hollywood's just not funny.;Chris Rock;funny 26033;Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.;Chris Rock;funny 26034;It's funny. You succeed, but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time.;Jeff Bridges;funny 26035;Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction, I think. But it's funny what comes down the pike.;Jeff Bridges;funny 26036;The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating, hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously.;Drew Barrymore;funny 26037;If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.;Larry David;funny 26038;I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.;Gertrude Stein;funny 26039;I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people.;Petra Nemcova;funny 26040;It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.;Julia Roberts;funny 26041;It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.;Craig Bruce;funny 26042;If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.;Billy Wilder;funny 26043;I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.;Larry David;funny 26044;It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.;Satchel Paige;funny 26045;As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feeling fake and boring.;Joseph Gordon-Levitt;funny 26046;What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.;Susan Orlean;funny 26047;I mean I've seen 3D films so far and I think it's a long way to go before they replace actors. It's a funny thing with 3D, I haven't quite got it yet. Yet.;Daniel Radcliffe;funny 26048;Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.;Michael Caine;funny 26049;Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.;Tom Hiddleston;funny 26050;I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys.;Megan Fox;funny 26051;The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?”

“No Government has the moral authority to dismantle the universally understood meaning of marriage.”

“In Scotland over many years we have cultivated through our justice system what I hope can be described as a 'culture of compassion.' On the other hand, there still exists in many parts of the U.S., if not nationally, an attitude towards the concept of justice which can only be described as a 'culture of vengeance.'”

“Not in the mornings, I'm always so tired in the morning.”

“I know that many of you do wear such a cross of Christ, not in any ostentatious way, not in a way that might harm you at your work or recreation, but a simple indication that you value the role of Jesus Christ in the history of the world, that you are trying to live by Christ's standards in your own daily life.”

“Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me.”

“There is no doubt that, as a society, we have become blase about the importance of marriage as a stabilising influence and less inclined to prize it as a worthwhile institution.”

“My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.”

“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.”